NutriSoda.

I’ve resisted the urge to write about NutriSoda but the door-hanger I received this morning pushed me over the edge. I first noticed the advertising a month or two ago, on one lonely billboard on my way to the gym.

NutriSoda_Billboard

Seems basic and harmless enough, but there is no f’ing flying pig! I get that its just a saying, but the saying is that when Pigs Fly, X will happen. I don’t see a flying pig. You weren’t creative enough to have one perched on your billboard or tethered to the fly in the air. So if I don’t see the pig flying, then your soda is not really nutritious.

I could forgive them for the bad copy in the one lonely billboard. But the copy on the door-hanger makes me cringe. Check out the front and back here.

nutrisodaFRONT

Front copy reads

Forgot your keys again, did you?

nutrisodaBACK

Back copy reads

No more losing your keys or forgetting to wear pants to the big meeting. Nutrisoda Focus has 11 vitamins and nutrients like L-Tyrosine to help you concentrate on the task at hand. Boost your brain with black cherry and apple goodness.

Ummm…forgetting your keys is one thing but who the hell forgets to wear pants to a meeting? Nutrisoda is for people so incompetent they don’t know how to get dressed? But wait its supposed to help me on the task at hand? So I’ll have to drink it while getting dressed so I can have the mental capacity to do it properly?

Oh and this appeared on my door sometime between 10pm and 6am….creepy.

Then there is the website, GetHubbly.com, where they compare themselves to the Keytar, an El Camino and a Mullet because apparently their target demographic is middle aged trailer trash?

Bus shelter ads have also started appearing, but I refuse to look at them.

Rules.

There should be some basic rules all advertisers follow when writing copy for an ad. I’ve started my list based on the most annoying ads of 2008 and I’m sure even more annoying and badly written ads will come out in 2009 to help me figure out 4-10. 

1) Do not claim something is “valued at $XX” if no one has or would pay that dollar amount for the product service.

Education Connection/Class in my Pjs your college guide is not a $100 value if the guide was never actually purchased by someone for $100. 

2) Do not use the words improved, revolutionary or better unless you can prove that the product or service has actually been improved, revolutionized or made better.

Victoria’s Secret just because you designed a new bra or panty does not make it revolutionary, you actually have to do something radically innovative to make that claim. 

3) Do not speak down to consumers. They’re not idiots. As an someone from an ad agency I can garuntee that 90% of the people putting together the ads have  never uesd the product or service. We like to think we know what we’re talking about but no one knows better than people actually using it. Speak honestly and clearly about the benefits.  

So Blackberry Storm I think you can safely assume that your target demographic is totally aware that the iPhone has a touch screen and all the features you copied. Don’t make your consumers out to be complete idiots